It's All Fun and Games (Until Someone Falls In Love)
by SereneCalamity
Summary: Wade wasn't the best at wooing. Spideypool. Oneshot.


**I find these two just adorable. Haha. Like, a mess, but adorable. And I definitely imagine Ryan Reynolds with an Andrew Garfield Spider-Man, even though I adore Tom Holland.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own the characters or the title, which comes from** ** _Carousel_ by Melanie Martinez. **

Deadpool was clumsy.

Peter Parker had thought that at first that maybe the mercenary was just acting that way to make Peter feel better, because while Spider-Man was meant to be all grace and smooth swings and, Peter himself was pretty damn clumsy.

But after getting to know Deadpool as Wade Wilson, he realized that nope, it turned out he was actually just _that_ clumsy. At least, he preferred to think that he was clumsy, and not that didn't care about his personal well being, because that would just make Peter sad. He knew that Wade was able to literally grow back body parts, but he didn't like the idea of Wade just completely disregarding any thoughts of personal safety.

They got on well, which was a bit surprising.

Tony Stark especially was surprised, and at first had seemed to think that Wade was just playing with Peter before he struck, but it had been over a year now, and it seemed as though it was exactly what it appeared to be.

That Wade just wanted to be his friend.

They had fun—hanging out on rooftops, Wade making Peter laugh so hard he needed to pull up the mask of his suit to wipe away the tears. They would go out on patrols together, and even though Wade had absolutely no qualms about killing people or in the very least, maiming them, he never did that when he was with Peter. In fact, he mainly let Peter take the lead, just backing him up and helping him out. Sometimes Wade would come by Peters apartment with Mexican food and they would watch movies and TV shows and Peter would usually fall asleep on the couch, exhausted from his usual Spider-Man activities as well as his classes at the university where he was studying a double major.

Wade was sometimes there when he woke up, other times he was gone, but Peter would always be covered in a blanket and laid out on the couch all comfy, and it made him feel warm inside knowing that Wade looked after him.

There was also, of course, the whole thing about Wade hitting on him relentlessly, but Peter was pretty sure he hit on everyone, given he had once listened to Wade wax poetry about Captain America's ass and how he wanted to 'dip that perfect dorito shaped body into all sorts of special sauce'.

But then...Some _things_ started happening.

Peter got home from a late night lab session at the university and he was exhausted. He and Wade had gone out the night before and ended up in a pretty intense fight with about six drug dealers who were moving in on a teenage girl. Peter had taken a few blows to the stomach, and so his ribs were still aching today.

And he got home to his apartment on _fire_.

He wasn't the best at house work and so his apartment was never the absolute tidiest, and sometimes he left things where they weren't meant to be, and okay, he had set the kitchen on fire a _couple_ of times while trying to cook while also falling asleep.

But he absolutely did _not_ put a hundred candles throughout his apartment and light them before he had gone to university that day.

Thankfully, Wade had shown up and had looked even more panicked than Peter, and he had help him put out the flames and clean up the candles and then wipe up the mess that was left behind.

And then two weeks went by and Peter came home to three puppies in his apartment.

In general, he loved puppies! Except two of the three puppies had collars, which meant they belonged to someone else. They had also been in there for a few hours _unsupervised_ and so they had torn their way through three of the cushions on his couch, they had peed on the kitchen floor, and they had somehow managed to open up two of his lower cupboards and pull out several packs of noodles which were now ripped open and crushed noodles were scattered through the kitchen and smashed into the short hall down to the bedroom.

Once again, Wade appeared in the doorway a few minutes later, wearing his standard jeans and a hoodie that he donned when he wasn't in uniform and he had looked completely taken aback by the mess and had quickly helped with herding the puppies into the bathroom, cleaning up, and then taking them down to the closest pet store where they found out that these three particular puppies had actually been abducted from earlier in the day.

Peter had _no idea_ how they had ended up in his apartment, but he was just glad they were all going back to their rightful owners, even if the little beagle puppy with the pink collar was gorgeous and he kind of wanted to take her back.

There was just a few days between the puppy surprise and the next event.

It was after a patrol, and Peter had to check in with Stark. He was meant to be heading back home to get changed, and then he and Wade were going to go to the drive in to watch an old black and white movie that was playing. Part of him wondered if he could count this as a date, because technically they were going to grab dinner on the way there, but then all thoughts of that subsided as he let himself into his apartment and he immediately started sneezing.

Over and over and over and _over_ again.

He sneezed so many times he ended up backing into the wall and he jerked off his mask and rubbed a hand over his face as he looked around.

Flowers.

Flowers _everywhere_.

They were on every surface and obviously it was all the pollen in the air that was getting up his nose and in his eyes and he could barely stop himself from sneezing. Peter tried to head to his bedroom to escape, but they were in there as well!

There were gorgeous bouquets wrapped in cellophane and colourful bows. Then there were flowers in long vases, all different shapes and sizes. And then there were flowers which had clearly just been picked, because there were still clumps of dirt stuck to the stems. Peter squinted at the flowers and tilted his head to the side and then he was sneezing again. He rubbed his eyes, which just made it worse, and then he stumbled into the bathroom and thankfully there were no flowers in there. He splashed some water on his face and then opened the cupboard underneath the sink.

He didn't have much in the way of first aid, but he made sure he had hay fever pills.

Or, at least, _Aunt May_ ensured he had hay fever pills. He was terrible, and would use them and then forget to buy them, and then have to suffer through itchy noses and scratchy eyes and the non-stop sneezing through each change of season.

He popped two out of the casing and swallowed them dry, and then promptly sneezed again.

"Baby boy?" Came a faint call, and Peter registered that he had been so caught up in his sneeze fest that he hadn't even noticed Wade coming in. He came out of the bathroom and Wade came around the corner, and Peter noted that Wade was wearing a nice pair of pants and a nice shirt that looked like maybe it had been ironed—at least half of it was, the other half was crumpled and so Wade had probably lost interest. "Shit, what'd I do wrong this time?!" He cried out when he saw Peter, and he was guessing that his eyes probably already looked pretty bloodshot.

"Huh?" Peter asked, rubbing at his nose and sneezing again.

"You are _impossible_ to woo!" Wade looked positively frustrated as he stomped into the kitchen. He came back a moment later with a rubbish bag and began to throw flowers inside, vases and all. Peter was just watching him with eyes that would be wide open in surprise if he was actually capable of properly opening them. "First, I bring candles. Everyone loves candles! Every bloody romcom has candles! I'm pretty sure Blake Lively would have loved candles. But _noooooo_. They set the apartment on fire!"

"Wade?" Peter tried to interrupt, taking a step forward, but Wade was clearly on a role, muttering to himself angrily as he tossed flowers into the steadily filling rubbish bag.

"And then I bring you puppies! You always said you wanted puppies! So I brought you puppies! Turns out puppies are destructive when left alone," he let out an annoyed huff, throwing up a free hand in the air. " _Who knew_?!"

"Well, _everyone_ , Wade," Peter couldn't help but add with a small smile as he watched the mercenary, catching on that the trio of disasters that had happened were all attempts of Wade trying to 'woo' him. "Everyone knows that puppies are destructive—even when they're _not_ alone." Wade made a face and some kind of weird jazz hand movement.

"Well, lah-de-da," he sung out sarcastically. " _Then_ I decided I'd go with the most fool proof option. Flowers. It's a tired, century-old tradition! _But_ it turns out that my baby boy is _allergic_! How is it I didn't even know that?!" Wade carried out muttering, but Peter had heard enough, and he closed the gap between them, ignoring the itch in his nose as he reached up and pressed his mouth against Wade's mouth. Wade froze in front of him, one hand gripping the rubbish bag and the other wrapped tight around a bouquet of brightly coloured daises that were tearing up Peter's eyes with their pollen. When Peter pulled back, he bit his lower lip shyly and tipped his head.

"Was that where you were hoping this evening would go?" He asked gently. Wade just stared at him for a moment, as though still trying to play catch up, before finally answering.

"Well...If we're being totally honest..." he shrugged and smiled a little. "I was kind of hoping for some under the shirt kind of action as well." Peter couldn't help but laugh, and then he sneezed directly in Wade's face. Wade scrunched up his nose. "Not that I haven't dreamed of exchanging bodily fluids with you, baby boy, but that wasn't quite what I had in mind."

"Sorry," Peter murmured with a grin as he took a step back.

"Let's just get you out of here," Wade decided. "Let's go, go, go, go, go!" Peter nodded and his grin grew even wider as he stepped back and quickly ran to his room. He could feel his nose slowly becoming less itchy and he changed as fast as he could, only tripping over his jeans once.

So, Deadpool could be a little clumsy, which had almost resulted in his whole apartment going up in flames. He could also be a little short-sighted when trying to woo someone, apparently, and not process fully that those puppies had nearly shredded everything he owned and had also actually _belonged_ to someone.

But his heart was in the right place.

Peter was just going to have to keep in mind that everything was fun and games between them, but it could be detrimental to his health when Wade's feelings got involved, as evidenced by the flowers.

It was going to be worth it, though.

He knew it.

 **Let me know what you think x**


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